SpongeBob Roast Session
by BelovedQueen
Summary: This book is about a fuckin roast session, what else?


_The Krusty_ Crab

SpongeBob: What a beautiful day we have today squidward right? *Blinks eyelashes at Squidward.*

Squidward: SpongeBob shut yo gay ass up, andflip them motherfucking burgers bitch. Damn you smell like straight up grease.

SpongeBob: Nigga don't get me started. Cause I will flame your ass, I will do it.

 _Customers turn their attention towards Squidward and SpongeBob._

The fish that said chocolate: Oh shit they at it again.

Customer: This what happens when you let black people have Nickelodeon.

Squidward: Nigga who you tryna roast with your ass looking like molded swiss cheese.

SpongeBob: *Jumps out window and lands on top of the cash register, and turns neck to the back.*

Girl Customer: *Sips sweet tea*

SpongeBob: *bois squidward* Boi. I know you ain't coming for me, with your limb dick nose having ass. Boi, if you don't take you're "my mom forgot to use a condom." Face ass the fuck somewhere, I will slap yo ass with my god damn spatula.

Customers: OH SHIT!

Squidward: Boi you fuck pinnaples get the fuck on. You snail rapist, ew I can already see Gary cheating on you're gay ass.

Gary: Meow

SpongeBob: GAY? Nigga you play the clarinet and wear a polo shirt! Yo feet be looking like erect titties. Yo head look like you attracted to much air in that bitch, boi you look like a squirtle and a molded blue jelly bean fucked together. You get high off of salt with you're "I don't drink cool aid face ass."

Patrick: Shut y'all's dumb asses up.

Customers: *Sips tea*

Squidward: We flaming y'all's asses next

SpongeBob: Nigga who you calling dumb, you couldn't even pass pre k. They had to hold back you're dumb ass because you don't know what know means. Fuck out of here, you chewed up bubble gum before I stomp your ass.

Patrick: Who you finna stomp with them Heelys. Nigga shut yo gay ass up, you know you was begging to suck my dick for snail food.

SpongeBob: NIGGA YOU IS SUPPOSED TO ROAST SQUIDWARD NOT ME!

Patrick: Squidwards life is already fucked up, I feel bad for him so now I'm gonna flame yo ass

Squidward: NIGGA WHAT! YO MAMA SUCKED MY DICK FOR ROCKS YOU DUMB ASS NIGGA!

SpongeBob: Was you're cumshot boogers? The only dick I see is the one on you're fugly face.

Patrick: My mom doesn't fuck with saggy potatoes.

Squidward: To bad you're family is dumb enough to. How did you're family even know about sex! *laughs*

SpongeBob: Look at this Toothpaste lookin ass nigga, laughing at his own joke.

Patrick: Nigga looking like Hates off the movie Hercules.

Mr.Crabs: Why y'all asses fighting instead of making me money! BACK TO WORK!

Squidward: You don't pay me enough.

Mr.Crabs: What did you say nigga?!

SpongeBob: Nigga you heard him. You making me flip burger and shit, but im getting payed dust an hour.

Customers: *tries to sip tea, but ran out* can we get a refill?

Mr.Crabs: Hush y'all's asses up.

SpongeBob: No nigga you hush up, with your constipated crab lookin ass! NIGGA YOU LOOK LIKE YOU PLAY ROBLOX FOR COUPONS

Patrick: WE FINNA COOK YO ASS WITH MELTED BUTTER NIGGA!

Squidward: NIGGA LOOKING LIKE COOL AID MAN WITH DIABETES

SpongeBob: The krusty crab? More like the rusty crab, and crusty with them dry ass claws you thought was moisturized. You so cheap you use you're own spit as lotion.

Customer: I think im gonna be sick *spits out Krabby patty*

Plankton: Yall roasting each other again huh?

Mr.Crabs: NIGGA YOU TRYNA STEAL ME FORMULER??!

Squidward: ME FORMULER??! HEAD ASS

Plankton: Naww, I just wanted roast all yalls a-

Patrick steps on Plankton*

Plankton: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Patrick: Damn... This one big ass booger. *wipes his feet on the floor with plankton.*

Plankton: NIGGA NO!! I AIN'T A BOOGER! AHHHH!

SpongeBob: But you smell like one.

Patrick: He was probably the fucked up science fair project in 4th grade.

Squidward: He looks like the trashcan and sewers fucked each other, but forgot to use condoms.

The Customers: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJH

Plankton: You niggas are gonna put some respect in my godndamn name!

Sandy walks in the crusty crab and steps on plankton.*

Sandy: Well damn, kind of doodoo turd is this on my shoe?

Plankton: HOE IM PLANKTON

Squidward: Wipe you're shoes off outside please. That thing on your foot is contagious!

Sandy: Sure thing

Plankton: NIGGA!!

 _THE END :_ D

SPONGEBOB _: *Bois the author*_


End file.
